Green Eyed Monster
by let.the.sunshine.14
Summary: "Day 13 of this hell hole" Lily Potter looks back on her troubled past and what caused her actions to murder, lie and breakdown- Jealousy. And Rose looks at what happening to her life as everything she loved slipped away. Past Scorse and one sided lily/Scorpius. I'm really bad at summary please read and review.
1. Jealousy

**Disclaimer unfortunately I'm not Jk Rowling.**

Day 13 of this hell hole. 11 January 2013.

Jealousy, I can only try to describe it. Jealousy feels like a knife being twisted in your gut, like bile is rising in the back of your throat.

But then it ranges I could be jealousy of a friend and momentary hate them and then it could drive you to consequences no one can forgive you for in extreme cases.

When you feel the knife in your stomach, jealousy, it can blind you with hate and you might not even realize the consequences. Jealousy can itch away at your soul until you become a green eyed monster.

I know I am not making sense but you must understand I doubt I have much time left.

Sometimes when I close my eyes I can see fragments of memories or sometimes vivid memoires. now is one of them; I can see the 11th of January 2001 its morning. My eyes shot open and I slowly turned to look at the clock "6.45" a voice whined behind me. The voice laced with fake cheerfulness. "What are doing in my room Ro?" I demand without looking I knew it was my wonderful cousin Rose Weasley.

"Its your birthday Lils, your 14! Old enough to go to azkaban." Oh god I thought it was my birthday I ignored the azkaban comment, but she carried on "but according to my dad your still not aloud to date" she said that with such malice it almost scared me. She had augured with uncle Ron since she was 12 about guys. Shed been dating since she was 12, she was Hogwarts princess.

She added almost as an after thought ''not that you'd get a boyfriend" what a great birthday already.

Rose, has sorry I mean had (already my minds deteriorating) anyway she had permanently shiny, thick waist length gorgeous Autumn coloured hair a deep redy brown colour. She had a beautiful heart shaped lips a perfectly in proportion with her face but also the perfect shape to make a smug smile. She had a small button nose and fake rosy red cheeks. But by far her best feature is her bright coloured eyes that seen to look into your eyes. Long black spiderly eyelashes that were fake.

That day she was wearing a low cut jumper that showed of too much cleavage, skin coloured tights with tiny black hot pants.

Rose was already up because she used to always wake up at 5.00am to do her heavy makeup. She doesn't anymore but then I guess you can't wake up if your 6ft underground and I was the one that put her there.

My eyes suddenly open and I'm shot back into the present day. I can't believe this memory was only 2 years ago. I must go now.

**THANKS FOR READING PLEASE REVIEW, I DONT KNOW IF TO CARRY ON?.**


	2. Rose before 31st December

**Thanks for the review. And rose has a background that's why she's horrible and its kinda going to be Scorpius and Rose but a bit of Lily and Scorpius.**

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**ROSE'S POV BEFORE.**

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31st December 2010

Happy new year to me. I've had 52 texts all "Happy new year. Rosey, you going to Jakes later" or "Happy new year, Do you think you can get me an invite to Jakes? Lots or love...".

'Jake' Scorpius's bestfriend. Scorp's known Jake his all life so I've kinda got to be friends with Jake. Even if I hate him inside I pretend he's my best friend, he hates me thinks Scorpius can do better. He can of corse .

I shut my eyes and memories over whelm me...

_Flashback/ memorie_

_20th December 2011_

_I look around Scorpius kitchen, Scorpius has gone to the shop. The walls are a beautiful baby blue that goes well with the light. The led cute Christmas lights in twined with mistletoe hang along the back wall. Hanging from the mistletoe are little clothes pegs painted green and red, christmas colours. Hanging from the pegs are pictures of there family. Pictures of Esme (Scorpius sister) and Scorpius at there last holiday. I still find it weird how Scorpius and Esme aren't spoiled. A bright yellow Rayburn that contrasts perfectly against the pretty walls. A maghognay counter stairs at me on it is a with weekly magazine. The pale yellow tiles are littered with crumbs. That's what I love about Astoria her house always looks genuine but amazingly stunningly beautiful. Astoria's an interior designer so every room in there house is breathtaking._

_I walk over to the striking Georgian four paneled window painted a deep maroon. Out of the window I can see the sea of west wittering. West Wittering the most beautiful beach en England the sea almost glisting in the when I look out of this window I can see why years ago muggles thought the world was flat._

_I hear feet patting behind me I turn expecting to see Scorpius handsome face instead stands Jake._

_"What are you doing" I demand._

_"I have as much right to be in this house has you" he replies smugly. He's right, in fact he probably has more right than me._

_"What about you Rosey, why are you here? And where's Scorpius?" He said his voice laced with viciousness, trying to trip me up. He knows I hate Rosey only my mum and Scorpius call me that._

_"I'm at my boyfriends house." He sniggered. I carried on anyway. "And he's popped to the shop. How did you get in!?" I said my voice wavering._

_"Well my dear friend. Scorpius is my best friend, he told me to meet him now. And I went round the back like I always do." He sneered._

_Then he carried on,_

_"I think its cute you call him you boyfriend. You won't be for long he'll get a prettier French girl-" it fells like a stab in my gut its true as w ell. "You know what you are to him? A little slut that's good for his publicity of being a quidditch player. Then he'll ditch you." My eyes are filling with salt water, I refuse to cry in front of him. "Awh does that hurt your feelings" I flinch as he comes closer to me taking wide strands so I can almost feel his breath on my face. _

_'Bang' the front door opens, I sigh with relief Scorpius is back._

_Flash back finished_

What Jake says still haunts in my mind at night when i can't get to sleep because I'm crying to much and because I know what he said is true. I love Scorpius but he doesn't love me he loves who I am maybe just strongly likes me not even love. He loves that I'm popular, that I'm Good looking, that I'm two thirds of the golden trio that means if he dates me he's nothing like his dad and it gets us in the profit.

Tonight I'll spend 2 hours getting ready for the house party at Jakes. I f I'm lucky Scorpius might even say I look good, I'll get really drunk and I'll come home and father will yell at me.I hate me so much I wish I could just be like Lily. Lily so lucky shes just individual and acts like it.

**Thanks for reading. Please review. I'm really not sure if I should carry this on?**


	3. death

January 17th 2011

Day 20 of this hell hole

I hear the mechanic click of a switch and unfortunately I am plunged into darkness. The pungent smell of rotting flesh over whelms me. I can almost taste the rusty smell of blood, I stick out my tongue like a dog quenched of thirst but instead of thirst I am desperate to feel something instead of the constant numbness.

"Who died?" I think out loud.

"Not you." My own voice reply's.

"Not you" oh god I'm losing my mind, talking to myself. But from some gut feeling it means that someone has died, if only it was me. Guiltily I stick my tongue back into my mouth and press it against the dry roof of my mouth. A minute ago I was eager so desperate to feel something now I feel sick with guilt. What kind of person like the smell of blood? _A murder_; its not my fault I try to reassure myself it was hers for making me so jealous.

What have I became?_ A monster_. The voice whisper's in my mind.

I feel myself shaking. I'm starting to sob. Hysterically now.

I squeeze my eyes closed.

A memoire plays in front of me.

August 16th 2003

I'm in the field outside the burrow. Roses and tall apple trees loom above me. Rosey is ahead of me in a beautiful red dress her hair flying lose. She breaks into a sprint. Then as if she finally remembers shes been made to play with me, she turns I see her angelic face at 8 she could already be a model. "Hurry up Lils" she giggled, these were the days when I had my puppy fat so I couldn't keep up.

Already at 6 I felt so fat and next Rose

"Please wait Rose" I moaned.

"Sure, anyway its only cause your younger than me you can't keep u, when your 8 you'll be able to." She sneered sarcastically.

"Mmmm, do you even like me?" I moaned.

"I love you! Your my cute little cousin. And you flower friend." Fake all fake i think. At 8 she already is good at being fake cheerfully.

I open my eyes, I dont want to see Rosey anymore.


	4. Rose before, 4th January

Thanks for the reviews:)

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**ROSE BEFORE.**

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4th January 2011.

I'm a mess. Sometimes I feel like I should just run out my house with no makeup on and yell this is me. My life is built on a lie. I'm a disappointment to everyone, to my father I am a "disappointment" he had such high hopes for me he constantly tells me. I was his golden girl all I hear now is "where did i go wrong with you Rose" not even "Rosey" anymore. Every time he says that a little part of me dies inside. But the thing is I don't know were I went wrong, he encouraged me to be popular told me Scorpius was perfect for me. To be popular and to stay Scorpius girlfriend I have to stay out late and go to parties he just doesn't understand me anymore.

I've disappointed my mother on so many ways. I used to call her "mum" but when I got to ten she insisted I was to old for "mum" and had to call her "mother". And dad "father" her weird way of feeling posh. Scorpius will always laugh at me for calling them that. But "mother" will always be mum to me. And I don't know who this "mother" person is but I won't my mum back. My mum who wouldn't of told me of for my clothes or not being top of the class.

One day when there having a go at me I'll turn and say "don't worry, I've even disappointed myself" and then I'd smile and leave the house and never look back.

I feel like Scorpius is slipping away from me.

_Flashback_

_January 1st 2011._

_Someone's shaking me. Panic posses me. My head feels as if there's a hammer inside my head. My eyes are blurry without my contacts and i can see a vague shape of a man._

_"Get of! Who are you? Where am I? Whats going on?" I try to sound tough but I'm so terrified I'm stuttering._

_"Shhh Rosey"- I instantly know its Scorpius I breathe a breathe of relief, he wouldn't hurt me._

_"- your drink got spiked, I don't know by who by but I'll find out"- he's angry now and he squeezes my hand to try to reassure me its OK and he'll be the big man and find them and beat them up._

_"Ouch" I squeak. I sit up and lean against the back of the bed._

_"Oh god did I hurt you!" Concern is in twined in his voice._

_"No I'm fine, sorry carry on." I sit up against the back of his bed._

_"OK, were was I? Oh yeah right your drink got spiked by a dick. Obviously not me. You passed out at like 1 so I took you to my house. Because well I don't think you would of appreciated to waking up at Jakes house. And I knew you'd be annoyed if I took you to the burrow. My parents were out as you knew so I took you here. Its 6am but I thought I better wake you so I could take you to the burrow." He says all this as a fact. He studies my face._

_I think how dodgy this must sound to anyone else, but no he wouldn't date rape me._

_"I'm sorry Scorp I..." My voice trails of._

_"Sorry for what." A small smile forms on his lips._

_"You know passing out, making you take me to your house, being a lightweight of a girlfriend." I'm nevours now that he'll be angry and my voice shows it._

_He studies my face his expression unreadable. "Of course not. Your not a lightweight and I'm glad you passed out it gave me an excuse to get away from the party." He says and grins._

_I give him a small smile. "Got these for you" he says handing me my glasses, I winkle my nose._

_"I look stupid in them." I state self consciously._

_"No, you always look beautiful." I beam my headache is gone this small sign of affection will leave me happy for days._

_I look around at his room, I'm lying on the ravenclaw coloured double bed. There's posters up of famous quidditch players on the walls painted a mural of the sky. Its beautiful of course but there's no picture of me and Scorpius any where. I'm crestfallen my headaches returning._

_"I best go then." I say. He looks disappointed, another person I've disappointed he'll leave me soon I think._

_"Sure Rosey" he forces a smile._

_Flashback finished_

The thing is, I care I've disappointed all those people, but the only one I really care about disappointing is Lily. But that's been done I've my made my bed so I guess I'll be lying in it. All because I'm dating Scorpius. Even though she's like three years younger than me she's my idol I wish I could be her. I'm so sorry Lils but I need Scorpius.

**Please review**.


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